Emotions are vital to our everyday existence. They propel us to move forward, face our fears and conquer our dreams. But they also can be debilitating, consuming and overwhelming. Most people don’t give too much attention when things are going right in their life. They take for granted that their hard work, positive thinking and faith has blessed them with abundance for the day. But you can be certain, that we give more focus to our life when things don’t go our way, we are having a bad day, our “luck” is unlucky and we just feel defeated. Why is that? Why do we dwell and place emphasis on negative things in life (the news for example, but that is another soapbox for another day), rather than expose, and give more attention to the good things in our life?
In my opinion, it’s because we get stuck. Our “emotional clock” stops moving. We idle in the misery and undesirable circumstances. We forget to grab our tools, face the problem at hand and find a solution (rather quickly) so it becomes a challenge or task, rather than a burden.
My background in psychology, business management and private consultations has helped me realize an important need in natural health – emotional health. You can work on physical ailments all you want, but until you address the emotional side to those physical imbalances, you will not be whole, hence the term, holistic health. This is one reason I focus on Emotional Health Consultations – to help people realize their personal potential by tapping into your inner self to expose your challenges, dreams and talents. It works the same for professional development, determining what is holding you back from being your true, authentic self (from a place of self-live rather than judgment) and devise a plan to help your business move forward in a healthy, productive and positive direction. When you connect your emotions, mind and body together, anything is possible. You find true inner happiness to love what you do and do what you love.
I find that in the process, there are 3 main obstacles that one must overcoming to release their fear to lead with COURAGE.
The first is releasing self-defeating behaviors. As we get older, our personality and behaviors are molded from our experiences. They can help bring us out of our shell and be more extroverted (i.e. team sports). Or they can make us go inward, become more introverted and dim our inner light (i.e. bullying). Don’t let learned, conditioned, or manifested behaviors define you. Work on reacting less in survival mode and start responding more with behaviors that serve you. You want to feel whole to nourish your spirit and encourage your dreams.
Two is learning who you really are. After trying to be something to everyone else, we lose our self-identity. Instead, we create and act from a façade, or false identity. We have taken on a new identity that allows us to survive rather than thrive. Stop resisting your true inner nature. Stop pleasing everyone else. Start living for you and being you. What makes you happy? What do you love? Who are you as a person, not a title? Use this knowing about yourself to create movement in your life…youvement.
Three, is to dream. We forget that dreams happen every day. The best creations, accomplishments, inventions and experiences come from those who allowed themselves to think. To have an idea and see that idea through until fruition. Dreaming can happen at any age, any stage of life, for anyone. In order to dream, you need to set healthy boundaries to stop any distractions holding you back.
So, what’s stopping you from moving forward? Why are you stuck? If you are like me, it’s hard helping yourself. It is really important to enlist the help of others who can mentor, support, encourage and honor you.
Two of my favorite “mental health” mentors are Dr. Alison Caldwell-Andrews who has helped me tap into my inner “malware” to recognize my self-worth, potential and true self.
Lynn Allen, a mental health professional (and one of my closest friends) has guided me through a step-by-step process of recognizing stuck behavioral patterns and creating an action plan to move forward.
This mentorship coupled with aromatherapy, has really made a difference in my overall mind-body health. Here are some of my favorite “get unstuck”, move forward” and “conquer the world” scents:
- Orange is awesome to inspire creativity, fun, joy and child-like wonder.
- Patchouli helps one let go of past hurts, thoughts, behaviors and resentment.
- Roman Chamomile is the “caretaker of the bunch”. It helps you take care of and nourish yourself.
- Thyme can help you establish an honor your boundaries.
- Lemon to light the way so you can connect back to yourself and shine forward.
Let your inner warrior shine. You got this. Let go and let yourself live, in the present moment, as you were meant to be.
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2 thoughts on “How do I move forward when I feel stuck?”
Thanks Jenn for the article. Wonder what your thoughts are on when you don’t like the fragrance of an oil. For example I am not a fan of Patchouli. Is there significant to that. Is my body trying to tell me something?
Hi Cheryl, that is a great question. Thank you for asking it. Each essential oil has an innate personality. They will never judge. They will always be their true nature (this is where understanding the doctrine of signatures is important). Their job is to connect you with your true inner self and illuminate the way for you to find a solution to a situation, whether physical, mental, emotional or spiritual. When you gravitate to an oil, your body is welcoming the properties and benefits it brings. It is like a lock and key system – the scent unlocks the door, and you allow it to come in, or not. When you are resistant to an oil, your body might not be ready to move in the direction that the scent is taking you, or it could simply mean, you may not need it at that moment. When this “scent rejection” arises during an Olfactory Sensory Testing session I conduct with my clients, most invoke judgment and automatically say that it is the latter. In my experience, I personally find that it is the former.
When you smell an oil, it instantly starts to shift you. When you get in the way via judgement and control, there can be a resistance. I describe this as a type of tug-of-war between your “created self” or “survival self” and your true-authentic self. The scent is moving you, to connect to your inner self and address something. It could be a current or situational emotion (i.e. stress, anxiety), or a deep-seated or buried emotion (grief, anger, fear, etc.). This is why meditation, exercise and deep breathing is so important. It keeps you present, in this moment and removes interferences. And when you add in aromatherapy, the benefits multiply.
So to address Patchouli specifically, the nature of this oil is to help you release and let go. The dislike typically indicates you are not ready to release or let go of a situation. You may already know what that is. And you may have to play investigator. For example, left-sided issues are related to problems you are having with a female. Right-sided issues are related to a male. Issues in the back of the body indicate you are not releasing something from the past. Front-sided issues are related to fear of moving forward (future).
I address this in more detail in my Holistic Aromatherapy Comprehensive Guide in the Aromatherapy Physiology section.