Setting healthy boundaries is a common issue for most people. It can affect mind, emotions, and ability to cope with or respond to situations.
- When do you say yes, and when do you say no?
- How do you protect yourself from being taken advantage of and having people walk all over you.
- When do you speak up for yourself, and when do you let it roll off your shoulders?
When to Say Yes & NO!
These are important questions, because keep in mind, when you say yes to something, you are saying no to something else.
Choosing when to say yes, and no, also affects your time management and work-life balance. If you are always saying, “yes, I can do that”, then you are slowly giving away pieces of yourself and your time. As long as that “yes” does not interfere with your priorities and what is most important to you, then go for it. However, if that “yes” means you have to sacrifice your self-care time, family time, or hinders your emotional sanity”, then you need to say “no”.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself. By saying “yes”, does it –
- feed my soul?
- light me up?
- move me towards my goals?
- bring me joy?
or, does it –
- makes me sacrifice my emotional balance and fuels emotional stress?
- makes me sacrifice time for myself or family?
- moves me away from my goals?
- brings me agony and exhaustion?
- brings me sadness?
Two Personalities of Boundaries
There is a duality when setting boundaries that you need to be aware of. On one hand, you need to establish firm boundaries from invasion or attack of unhealthy relationships and behaviors. When people put you down, manipulate a situation and try to stop you from pursuing your dreams, then it is time to put up a healthy boundary. One that protects you from unhealthy behaviors and allows you to focus on the positive actions that move you towards your goals.
Set some guidelines for what is acceptable and unacceptable. Don’t let people invade your space or thoughts. Don’t let them control how and when you move forward.
On other hand, you cannot allow hindering boundaries to keep you from succeeding and going after your dreams. Fear would be an example. When you are seeking to conquer a goal, release those fears and self-defeating behaviors and thoughts, so you can propel forward with ambition and excitement.
I have a colleague, Dr. Alison Caldwell-Andrews, that wrote a book called, Find Your V.I.D.A.: Create Your Life. She has a page in there dedicated to awareness and self-discipline that says, “Why are you waiting to do the thing until you feel like doing the thing? Just do the thing!”.
I love this because she is right! Just do the thing. No fear. Take action. Move. No action is a guarantee that no results will happen. Then what? You have regret that you didn’t do something.
Taking action assures you that there will be movement. Any movement is better than being stuck. It will move you out of fear, and closer to comfort, which is a reinforcement to keep going. There is always a first (intimidating) time, before you get to the point of “I got this”. Move that unhealthy boundary so you can establish healthy boundaries.
Using Aromatherapy to Set Healthy Boundaries
Let’s talk about setting healthy boundaries for yourself, to protect your heart and strengthen your mind. Different body systems, organs and processes are related to various emotions.
The organ responsible for helping us speak up for ourselves and articulating what it is we want, is the thyroid. We need to incorporate thyroid supporting herbs and aromatherapy to help us set and honor boundaries.
- Myrrh: courage to speak up for self, helps you find your voice
- Myrtle: combats sluggishness to encourage motivation, movement and facing your demands with courage
- Thyme: can help establish boundaries and stand your ground
- Orange: brings in a flare of fun, creativity, confidence, self-esteem and self-worth
- Frankincense: conquer fear, help connect to yourself to set boundaries, protect from psychic attacks
- Patchouli: stop people from invading your space and goals, release the control someone has over you
My Boundary Builder Roll-on
In a 10mL roll-on bottle, combine essential oils and carrier oil. Mix well, label and use 2-3 times daily, and as needed.
Do you need help setting boundaries and identifying why you have such a hard time setting boundaries and saying no? Book a Boundary Setting Audit with Personal Health & Mindset Coach, Jennifer Pressimone. Click here to get it scheduled.
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The information shared was created solely by Certified Clinical Phyto-Aromatherapist & Scentpreneur™, Jennifer H. Pressimone. Copyright 2018. No portion of this content may be reproduced, shared, or copied without written permission from the author. Any such reproduction in any form would constitute plagiarism.