Why me? Why do I feel alone? Deserted? Abandoned? Many sources can trigger these feelings of abandonment. There could be relationship split, a death of a loved one or pet, job loss, an ending or change to a role or loss of a body part or limb. Abandonment is experienced differently depending on the person and situation. However, you are not completely alone. There are some common denominator emotions experienced by all who feel abandoned.
- Lonely
- Rejected
- Deserted
- Betrayed
- Unloved
- Forgotten
- Angry
- Worthless or feeling I am not good enough
- Something is wrong with me
When you are used to having something or someone in your life, it is hard to cope or function when it is missing. You wake up, and it or they are not there anymore. You can’t reach out and connect with them. You can’t resolve any unresolved issues. It can’t make you whole again. Now what? Well, it is now up to you to make yourself whole again. It’s the time-old saying, “it takes time”.
Time can help. But what do you do in the meantime? You take one moment at a time. One day at a time. One situation at a time. Take one step, make one decision, embrace the memories and use that to fuel how you will take your next step.
Relationship split
In a relationship, you get used to having that person around. You can call them anytime your want and make plans. However, when there is a separation or split, this is type of loss. It can also trigger other emotions such as betrayal, resentment, bitterness, anger, fear and grief. Why is that person not around anymore? What lessons can you learn about yourself, to make you stronger and more connected to your authentic self?
Some essential oils that are specific for the theme of separation, severing ties, ending to a relationship and detachment include, but not limited to, patchouli, cedar, cinnamon, frankincense, myrrh, rosemary and thyme.
Death of a loved one or pet
When you lose a someone you care about, like a parent, spouse, sibling, relative, friend or pet, it can put you in a state of shock. You feel sad, distraught, dazed and forever changed. It is hard to imagine life without them. If you could only have one more conversation, and time to create one more memory. Honor them. Remember them. Reminisce about their laugh, legacy and moments that they expressed their true authentic self. Sometimes those are good memories, and sometimes they are not as happy. Nonetheless, honor their presence and contributions they made to your life.
Essential oils that are specific for helping your cope with grief, the loss of a loved one or pet, longing to have them back are pine, ravintsara, bergamot, cinnamon, sandalwood and rose.
Role ending or change
Many people define themselves by their role of a particular job, who they are in their family or at work. For example, a caretaker, mom, dad, secretary, employer, employee, friend, and so on. It is as if their only existence is to fulfill that role. Who they are authentically, and who they are supposed to be to or for others, merge into one. This creates a separation of self, which can cause a loss of identity. When a role that you have bene doing for a while is taken away, you feel lost, invalid and useless. What are you supposed to do now? Who are you? Who do you want to be? A plethora of emotions can emerge that feed into that sense of abandonment.
I like to diffuse essential oils that can help with adjusting to change, accepting a new role shift or reassignment such as lime, spearmint, palmarosa, ravintsara and geranium.
Loss of a limb, organ or body part
Phantom limb is a real condition. Soldiers and accident victims experience the loss of a limb, or body part.
Essential oils to help with the shock of losing a body part and cope with the sensation that the part is still there are clary sage, marjoram, lavender, bay laurel, helichrysum carrot seed and frankincense.
I AM NOT ALONE ROLL-ON
1 drops bay laurel (Laurus nobilis)
3 drops cinnamon (Cinnamomum zeylancium)
4 drops bergamot (Citrus bergamia)
3 drops pine (pinus sylvestris)
2 drop ravintsara (Cinnamomum camphora)
.33 ounces Rosehip carrier oil
Disclaimers: Information provided is for educational purposes only and is not intended to treat, diagnose, cure or prescribe. It is recommended that if serious health issues exist, you consult a licensed medical provider. JennScents does not assume liability or responsibility for the use and/or misuse of this information.
References: This blog may contain excerpts from JennScents Aromaversity Certification Courses and the JennScents Holistic Aromatherapy Comprehensive Guide.
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